Departed Dearly
here i am just a two weeks after the death of my mother trying to come up with some way to tell a bit of the story of her. what a silly thing to even imagine. i know i could only capture a vapor of what she was with my words. knowing this i’ll simply try to express what happened in the later part of her life and her final hours.
almost 15 years ago my mother began to notice the onset of arthritis. she soon learned she had debilitating rheumatoid arthritis. it spread quickly through her body and within months she was crippled. over a few years she went from a fully functioning healthy woman to a woman whose body was mangled and wrenched with pain and decaying joints. through the pain and suffering my mother never complained. she was always a positive and uplifting influence in the lives of every person she encountered. i would have flung myself from a bridge early on had i been in the same circumstance. she carried on with her christian spirit like a true soldier for God. many have an idea of what christian means based on the many false representations in the public eye today but when you seek the true definition of “christian” you will surely find a definition of my mother. she lived in the spirit and love of Jesus Christ. this offered her comfort in her pain and eventually comfort in her death. about a month ago i went back to North Carolina to visit her and the rest of my family. while there my mother told me if she were not there the next time i came she would be in a better place. she had fought the good fight. she had suffered through and accepted what life/God had put on her to suffer for whatever reason there was and now she was ready to lay all her suffering and burdens down. she did so in the early morning of April 14th. my father and my niece Kayla were with her until the very last few minutes. many times in the hours leading up to her death she told them how much she loved her family members. she thanked my father for the many years he had taken care of her and they were both able to tell each other how much they loved each other. she also was able to comfort my crying niece by telling her, “I’m not afraid”. i know she did this without as much as a whimper or even a trimmer in her voice. there was certainty and resolve. she new where she was going. i witnessed this when i saw Kayla sing at the funeral service. she sang these words, I am not afraid, with certainty and resolve and without a whimper or trimmer.
my family is at peace with this passing. we all looked at my mothers still body and celebrated that she was no longer trapped in the earthly hell of the body that had failed her so early in life.
IN HIS ARMS I’M NOT AFRAID
When I close my eyes in death,
Fold my hands across my chest.
Sing for me a pretty song
While I take my journey home.
CHORUS:
Not afraid to bid this world good-bye.
Not afraid to close my eyes and die.
For His courage I have prayed.
In His arms I’m not afraid.
When I cross that silent sea
And those home lights beckon me.
I’ll feel no pain, I’ll fear no harm.
Safe, secure in Jesus’ arms.
CHORUS:
Not afraid to bid this world good-bye.
Not afraid to close my eyes and die.
For His courage I have prayed.
In His arms I’m not afraid.